Understanding Steps 6 and 7: Drop The Rock

Understanding Steps 6 and 7: Drop The Rock

“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

Step 6, Alcoholics Anonymous

“Praise the Lord, my soul,
  and forget not all his benefits—
 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases…”

Psalm 103:2-3, NIV

All the steps thus far have been leading up to this moment. 

We have, by now, explored the concept of a Power Greater than ourselves – both the group, and above all, God – and we have made an honest evaluation of ourselves. We come to realise that we are not just powerless over our drinking, drug-use or compulsive behaviour – but that we are powerless over all of our negative feelings, thoughts and behaviour.

Our drug use, compulsive behaviour and drinking are often just symptoms, rather than the problem itself.

Up until now we have been treating symptoms, but now it is time to start working on the root causes of our drinking and drugging.

This could include bitterness, rejection, fear, insecurity and unforgiveness – to name just a few.

We realize now, just as the insanity of addiction is starting to lift, that there are other areas, often larger areas in our lives that need some very real change.

And God is the only one who can help us do that.

Step 6 is about realizing that life change is necessary – and more importantly, that it is possible. In the sixth step we become willing to hand over our baggage to God, the only One strong enough to shoulder the burden for us.

This realization drives us towards step 7: “We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

Step 7 is about surrendering all of our hurt, all of our pain, wounds and scars to God – a cry for divine intervention.

Where step 6 is the motivation – the preparation of the heart – step 7 is the beginning of tangible action.

In surrendering our flaws, faults and failures to God, we also ask Him to give us the strength and wisdom to do better. 

In making a daily practice out of Step 6 and 7, in combination with step 10 (a daily inventory – which we will cover later), we see a recipe for permanent and lasting change.

In a lot of recovery groups this is called ‘drop the rock’ – because that’s what we are doing. Taking the heaviness of our fears, resentments, unforgiveness, etc – and dropping it at the feet of the Cross.

More often than not, however, we will find that we pick up new rocks, or sometimes even the old ones we dropped before – and this is why it is necessary for these steps to become a daily practice.

The hope is to get to a point where we ‘drop the rock’ almost as soon as we pick it up – and in time to leave it on the ground altogether.

These steps are about progress – not perfection. 

And God will help us. But only if we let Him.

Prayer: Lord, help me today to take a step of faith as I surrender all of my hurt, my pain, my torment to You! Have all of me, Lord, the good and the bad – as I surrender all I am to You. Start a work of restoration in me. Guide me Lord along new paths towards a brighter, better future – a future planned by You. Remove from me all my defects of character, my fear, resentment and tendency towards unforgiveness. Take my burdens. Replace it with strength and wisdom so I may grow in my relationship with You and those around me. In Jesus Name. Amen.

If you have chosen to take this leap of faith or have any questions regarding this post, please reach out to me: andre@adlabuschagne.co.za / 0653703806. We would love to journey with you!

 

Understanding Step 5: Confession

Understanding Step 5: Confession

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.’

Step 5, Alcoholics Anonymous

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

James 5:16, NIV

For many of us, if step 4 was hard, this step seemed inconceivable – and although it was a painful process, there is power in confession.

In sharing and confessing what we have been through, and what we have done, we roll the burden we have been carrying off our shoulders. We were never meant to carry our burdens alone.

This step urges us to make this confession towards three distinct parties. The order is not set in stone, so I will share my experience.

First we confess to ourselves.

This is often the hardest part of this process – but it is made all the easier through completion of step 4: our moral inventory.

It is the opinion of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that the only people who do not recover are those who are constitutionally unable to be honest with themselves.

This program is a program of honesty – and in this step we are once more called to be honest with ourselves – confessing the exact nature of our wrongs. It is to admit that we were wrong, to acknowledge that there is, within us and in our past, things that we feel guilty, embarrassed or ashamed about.

The truth sets us free.

We have all heard of naming and shaming – I want to propose ‘naming the shame’ – because by bringing it into the light it can no longer pull you into the dark.

We further strip the shame of its power by finding a confidant in which to confide. A fellow worker of the program, perhaps a pastor or a member of the clergy – someone you trust. Traditionally you would share this with your sponsor – a person who has some clean time and who has worked all twelve steps, someone you have chosen to help you work through the process. I have found that I have been most comfortable sharing with a close friend or two that I have had in the program and in the church.

In sharing this admission – in confessing our guilt, in sharing the exact nature of our wrongs – with another we often find, especially in confiding with a fellow recovering addict, that they have lived through much of the same horrors we have, done many of the same wrongs, lived a similar life – and somehow they have found a way forward.

Sometimes the thing you judge yourself the most for is just the tip of the iceberg for someone else.

I want to stress how important it is that you find the right person to share it with. Many people in recovery wear their hearts on their sleeves and just share with anyone who will listen – but I would recommend finding a sponsor who has more than 2 years of clean time, used a similar substance or engaged in a similar behaviour and who has worked through the twelve steps and understands them well.

It helps if your sponsor is a Christian who can pray with you and help you grow spiritually as well. The program might get us clean – but God keeps us clean.

Finally, we confess to God – and this is where the burden really rolls off our shoulders. If we can muster up just a mustard seed of faith…

1 John 1:9-10 says: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” (KJV)

We have all sinned – we have all missed the mark – and while it is true that some of us have missed it more than others, God is faithful. No matter how big your sin, no matter how vast your trespasses, the love of God is bigger, His mercy is wider, His grace runs deeper!

If we confess our sins God is faithful to forgive and cleanse us of our sin. He makes all things new.

If you need someone to talk to in this regard, or would like to discuss this step or anything around the twelve steps, finding Jesus, and moving forward in freedom – please reach out by sending me an email: andre@adlabuschagne.co.za

Prayer: Lord, give me the courage to complete this step. Show me the things I have done, let Your Spirit come and convict me, not towards condemnation, but towards righteousness so that I might get rid of this weight I have been carrying with me. Let Your love guide me, strengthen me and embolden me. Let Your grace comfort me in the road ahead – as I surrender to Your perfect will. Direct me towards the right people with which to share my story, safe people who will hear my confession and love rather than judge. Give me wisdom and discernment. And help me shoulder the weight of my burden of wrongs. I confess today that You are faithful, and if I will confess my sins, You will forgive and make me new again. Give me the strength and wisdom to do just that. In Jesus Name. Amen.

The Processes of Change

The Processes of Change

The Processes of Change

The processes of change, conceptualized and developed by Prochaska et al, describes the overt and covert activities that the individual engages in when trying to change a negative behavior, unlearn a bad habit or facilitate change in their lives.

These processes can be seen as broad categories of action and can consist of various interventions, techniques and methods to get where you are going.

Although adapted by Bartholomew et al, the original 9 are still the standard and a short description and examples of application will be given of each.

The ten processes of change are:

  1. consciousness raising,
  2. counterconditioning,
  3. dramatic relief,
  4. environmental reevaluation,
  5. helping relationships,
  6. reinforcement management,
  7. self-liberation,
  8. self-reevaluation,
  9. social-liberation,
  10. and stimulus control.

These were adapted and added to over the last few decades, but the original 10 do give us a good base to work from.

Consciousness Raising

Consciousness raising implies an increasing awareness and insight about oneself and the problem. Gaining insight and understanding in regards to the self defeating defenses that get in our way. This process implies an effort by the individual to seek new information and to get understanding and feedback about the behavior, problem or situation that needs to change. Interventions could include observations and confrontations and the watching of documentaries or reading of educational books/pamphlets.

For example, someone who would like to stop smoking could start reading pamphlets about the dangers of smoking, watch videos about the benefits of smoking cessation or engage in dialogues about the problem.

Counterconditioning

Countering or counter conditioning implies the process of replacing a problem behavior with an alternative, a healthier substitute. Here we seek to replace the unhealthy behavior with something healthy. This could range from exercise, to basic breathing and relaxation techniques.

One example could be, to replace negative thinking, to introduce a morning routine of self-affirmation.

When intrusive thoughts come we can confront those feelings with positive ones – but this does take practice, and therefore it is not just a band-aid for your thinking – but a process.

In the case of replacing a negative, compulsive behaviour, desensitization could be a good intervention. Looking at and understanding why a situation is a trigger and stripping it of its power can prove a helpful strategy against relapse later during the change process.

Dramatic Relief

Also called Emotional Arousal, Dramatic Relief is meant to evoke positive feelings about the change you are contemplating.

It also implies experiencing and expressing feelings surrounding both the problem and the solution.

This is achieved through roleplaying, open discussion, psychodrama and the grieving of losses as well as the celebration of success.

Environmental Re-evaluation

During this process we consider our physical and social environments and look at how the problem behavior either affects our surroundings or are encouraged/reinforced by it. For example, if a drug addict does not make certain changes to his social and physical environment the likelihood of relapse increases.

This process goes hand in hand with consciousness raising as it is about mindfulness and awareness of what is around us.

Thus interventions once again include discussion, documentaries and pamphlets, among others.

The key here is to identify situations that reinforce the problem behavior or prevent growth in a healthy way. Choosing an environment that suits your ideal behavior is important.

Once again, to use the example of a recovering drug addict, finding activities that can be enjoyed sober rather than previous ways of doing things will be imperative to maintaining change.

Helping Relationships

As the saying goes, no man is an island. We can’t do everything alone – even with an uncannily strong sense of independence and perseverance, or high self-efficacy – social support definitely does help. Especially when trying to change problem behaviors, it is helpful to have a social support network to fall back on.

Whether your social network consists of family, friends or even counselors and clergy – having someone around to help you when you stumble, an ear you can talk to, a hand you can hold – definitely makes things easier.

Self Re-evaluation

This process involves an open and honest assessment of oneself – understanding your own thought patterns, values, beliefs and emotions can be invaluable in moving forward.

Taking stock of your current situation, doing a fearless moral inventory and recognizing how the change you are contemplating will affect your life is what this process is all about.

Social Liberation

Much of our lives are often built around what others expect of us. This can be an unhealthy way of looking at life. Social liberation then is the awareness and acceptance by the individual of alternative and problem free lifestyles in society. For example, although you might have grown up in a setting where alcohol abuse was common, or grew up in a community where substances were commonplace, finding that there are individuals living an alternative lifestyle (eg. Staying sober) can lead to social liberation – freedom from a perceived social norm.

Self Liberation

Also referred to as commitment, this is the decision the individual makes to change the problem behavior. This can be a whole process in itself involving therapy and education, or as simple as a New Years resolution.

It is the finer details of this decision to make this commitment – whether overt or covert (subconscious) that makes this a process and not just an impulsive decision.

The action of choosing to change requires a stronger sense of self-efficacy, or the belief in your own ability to change.

Stimulus Control

In recovery circles we often make reference to the dangers of familiar people, places and things. Where the environmental re-evaluation looked at our physical and social environment – the people and places – here we look at the things – the situations, cues and circumstances whether tangible or intangible that could lead to relapse.

During this process we identify situations and circumstances which might trigger the problem behavior and then take certain actions to protect ourselves against relapse. This could involve restructuring your environment, changing careers, or avoiding high risk cues altogether.

It could also involve replacing or adding stimuli that encourage alternative, healthier behavior.

Reinforcement Management

As we go through the processes of change and our behavior is modified we need to reinforce the change that we have been making.

Since many addictions or problem behaviors have been reinforced over time through the brains reward system, we need to do the same with the new healthier behavior.

This could be anything from an encouraging word from a family member, a contingency contract with your counselor, or a self-reward.

For example, if I had a drinking problem and drank every night the financial reward might be significant if I were to stop drinking altogether. Therefore I could use my savings to reward myself with something I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. I could go have breakfast with a loved one, or take the kids to do something fun.

By rewarding positive behavior, not only do we reinforce that behavior but very quickly we find alternatives towards a happier, fuller life.

As mentioned before, the 9 processes have been added to over the years, and there is a multitude of information available on the internet, but personally I find the original nine points to be sufficient.

If you or a loved one are struggling with addiction or with issues related to mental health please consider reaching out by sending an email to andre@adlabuschagne.co.za and we will assist you with finding a solution that works for you.

Holy and Anointed One

Holy and Anointed One

“Your Name is like honey on my lips…
Your Spirit’s like water to my soul…
Your Word is a lamp unto my feet…
Jesus, I love You, I love you…”

Holy and Anointed One, Vineyard Worship

 

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

 

Psalm 119:103, NIV

There is no sweeter name than the Name of Jesus. whenever I speak the Name of Jesus it just fills me with such joy – like rivers of living water gushing forth.

The Psalmist writes the following in Psalm 119:103-105:

‭‭Psalms 119:103-105 NIV‬‬

[103] How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! [104] I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. [105] Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

John describes Jesus as the Word made flesh, the plan of God made manifest in our midst.

In that first chapter of John we also see Jesus as the light of the World, come to show us the way to life everlasting.

Jesus comes to bring life to dry places. Water to our souls.

Like rain from Heaven Jesus comes to refresh and revive us – the love of God poured out.

How can we not love Him?

In Song of Solomon the Bride compares the Groom’s name to that of an ointment poured out.

Honey is very medicinal. I remember hearing about a woman who used honey to soothe the sores and wounds of her dying son – and it was the only thing that worked and brought any relief.

Not only is it used to treat coughs, but because of its anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory qualities it is also used topically for burns and other wounds. Studies have shown that it also has anti-anxiety and anti-depressant benefits as well as reducing the risk of heart disease.

The Name of Jesus is not only sweet – a joy to our Spiritual pallete upon our lips – it is also filled with more obscure significance. Honey, Biblically, typifies the abundance and prosperity of God. The name of Jesus is prosperity to our bones (3 John 1:2). He is healing. His name is healing to our wounds, a salve for our heart-hurts and a balm for our soul-sores.

Honey is a preservative. ‭‭

Psalms 121:7-8 NKJV‬‬

[7] The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. [8] The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in From this time forth, and even forevermore.

The name of Jesus preserves us.

First He heals us of our fallen state, our sinful nature, our hurts and wounds and sores.

And then He preserves us – preventing decay and decomposition – He sustains us.

The Name of Jesus is like honey upon my lips – a good ointment poured forth.

The Spirit of the Lord is Water to our souls.

Psalm 46:4: “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.”

Through the indwelling of His Spirit Jesus is alive in us. He is the river that makes glad the walls of our city – He fills us with His joy and His peace.

Finally, Jesus is a lamp for our feet.

Through the Word Made Flesh – Jesus – God demonstrates how we should live. That’s what Jesus came to do. He came to demonstrate – to show and not just tell – to give us a clear pattern to follow.

Through Him we gain a deeper understanding of the Word – the Will and the Plan of the Father for our lives.

Let us call on the name of Jesus today and be restored. Let us open up our hearts and allow Him to flood the walls of our cities. Let us look to Him today and walk as He would have us walk.

Prayer: Lord, come be the River that makes glad the walls of my city. Come and run deep here in my heart. Come and flood me with Your joy and peace. As I call on You today, Jesus, let me be mindful of the sweetness of Your name. Your name restores and revives – makes me come alive again. Come and heal my hurt. Come and soothe my wounds. Come and bind up my broken heart. Come and make me whole. And as I look to You today and am made whole, let me walk in holiness. Let my life be a living letter written by Your hand. In Jesus mighty name. Amen.

Hi! We’re Andre and Kailie Labuschagne.

Andre has been in ministry for just over 20 years and Kailie is a specialist wellness counselor.

We are passionate about Jesus. He saved us from ourselves – and because of that we want nothing more than to give our lives to Him – after all He gave EVERYTHING for us.

We are passionate about seeing Jesus and His Kingdom come in the lives of everyone we meet – and believe that this can only be done through living out the Kingdom daily and consistently without compromise.

We want to see people healed. We want to see people delivered. We want to see Jesus lifted high.

We want to see revival spread like wild fire.

Jesus said: Repent! For the Kingdom is near!

We proclaim the same message! The Kingdom is here!

We would love to journey with you.

For prayer you’re welcome to contact us:
Men’s contact: Andre Labuschagne 065 370 3806
Ladies’ contact: Kailie Labuschagne: 079 037 4024
For professional counselling: 066 290 6339 / info@raphacontact.co.za
For help with addiction issues: 065 370 3806